Retrieving the Wonder of Childlike Eyes

Old advertising posterI recently watched a couple of young boys, probably around seven or eight, explore an area of a garden center unsupervised, and I suspect they also thought themselves alone. I was amused to observe them get excited over some plant specimens (succulents of course, weird and wonderful) as well as become totally distracted and unhinged at the sight of some bug. I smiled to myself as I remembered my same joy of discovery at the amazing world around me, and the same lack of discrimination as to what was worthy of notice and what wasn’t. It was not an unusual thought that came to my mind: how sad is the loss of the wonder of youth. My next thought was a congratulatory one: I’m so glad I haven’t lost my wonder. Only a few minutes later I was proving this point by collecting up some unusual pine cones that looked like old-fashioned cabbage roses and some spiky and strange seed pods, all the while wondering how I could use them in some creative way. I often stop to watch the humming bird feed, or to touch an interesting plant with an unusual texture or scent. While dead heading the cyclamen the other day I snipped a seed pod in half to see what it looked like inside, curious because I had never observed their fruit before.

Of course my musings on the wonder of youth led me to reflect that creative people always seem to retain some of that childlike amazement and curiosity at the world around us. I started to pat myself on the back, but then I had another thought: perhaps it’s not some innate specialness that allows us to retain our senses when others become smoothed to the world around them, like over-used sandpaper. Observe adults with children and you’ll see the smoothing away process in action often. For every parent that is encouraging their offspring in their explorations there are at least two others teaching their children fear and/or indifference. To be honest most parents belong in both categories. We tell our children what is important to pay attention to all the time with every little caution and gesture.

“Dad, what is this pretty flower?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a flower, now do up your shoelaces.”

“Mom, I like this squishy slug.”

“Ugh! Put that down, it’s dirty.”

Or better yet – just ignoring all the observations, questions, and wonder – or even better yet – criticizing, mocking, or laughing at the child for their pleasure at life’s wonders.

One of my personal favorites is misinformation. The largest dissemination of crap information is from parents to their children. It can be minor as in identifying an ape as a monkey, or it can be major as in stating that all people of a certain colored skin or sexual preference are inferior.

Of course I once failed to correct a couple of little boys as they made some wild assumptions: they were identifying some marks on the side of a ship docked in a harbor as being the result of ’shark bites’. I loved that. That was not misinformation but a sign of the wonderful imagination that all human beings are born with. Seeing some places where the paint was missing from the hull down at the water line their young minds, still not trained to ignore or classify as uninteresting or useless, imagined huge Great Whites with gaping jaws full of sharp and horrifying teeth as the fish leapt up out of the water in a feeding frenzy.

Perhaps if you have found yourself rubbed too smooth to wonder at life any longer, too harried to pass on your own wonder to your kids? I present no answers here, but I hope to have fueled some thought that might lead you down a path of rediscovery, and maybe what you find there, on that yellow brick road, might rub off on your little ones.

Slugs and Snails

The other day I was out in the garden, cleaning up the dead leaves, making nature look sexy instead of messy, when I came across some garden slugs. Ugh. Slugs.

slugI hate slugs; even their name is repellent. They’re slimy little squishy eating machines: gross miniature monsters eating holes in the beautiful leaves of my imagined perfect garden. Though I hate to touch them I had no qualms about crushing them under the heel of my boot to rid the garden of their pestilence. A few minutes later I came across the common garden snail (escargot to you) and my reaction was quite different. It’s still a garden pest and eating machine but instead of active repugnance I pick it carefully up by its stripped tortoiseshell-like spiral home where it brings a smile to my face as it starts to uncurl its little noble head from its body to peer at me inquisitively from its extraordinary eyestalks.

snailI couldn’t crush it: I carefully carried it out of the garden. I never have been able to harm a snail. They’re slippery, not slimy. They have beautiful shells. They have an elegance when fully extended, a sort of equine grace to their heads and the arch of their body as they navigate their world with a slow steady curiosity. I’m sure many of these are imagined qualities in my head, but my love affair with snails has been going since I was a kid when I would collect them to keep as pets, and carefully release them before I had them too long.

The same kid that showed such gentle devotion to his snails once stuck a match stick in the air hole of a slug, lit it, and watched it burn down until it melted the slug in a searing sizzle of outraged twisting writhing slugginess. I’m not proud of that moment and it didn’t give me any fiendish pleasure but rather taught me not to torture animals – even ones I despise.

nudibranchThe irony of all of this is that slugs, to most people, are snails without shells. In the mind of most people they are quite similar, if not nearly exactly the same, and the slime of the slug is the slime of the snail. Each has the same disastrous effect in the garden as they munch their way across your favorite shrub, veggies, and flowers. Even biology bears out the opinions of most people: they are both gastropods that got out of the sea and crawled on the land. Slugs developed mucus to protect their soft bodies designed for aquatic living and snails have a shell, like many of their relatives. Sea slugs are some of the most beautiful creatures on earth, nudibranchs, and even some land slug species are quite extraordinary.

The fact is I’m prejudiced. Like most prejudiced people my reasons seem perfectly reasonable: slime, squishy, plant-eating. And just like most prejudices I can’t see what I don’t want to see like the fact that the snail is the same creature but with a shell. My prejudice is so ingrained it’s visceral, but with open eyes can I cease my ridiculousness? I don’t mean that I should cease to remove slugs from my garden or that I should love snails any less, but that I should simply stop hating the simple slug, humble relative of creatures like nudibranchs and snails, and give it the respect it’s due. It’s the respect that all living creatures deserve just for being what they were born to be. It’s not layering my hatreds and fears on their backs until I can’t see them anymore, but stripping away the layers to see that they are just trying to make a living the best way that they can.

What prejudices do you hold so close you can’t even see them anymore?

Slice of Life

Wyatt’s Day:

  1. Coffee.
  2. Catch up on email, Pan message boards, staff work groups, exchange morning pleasantries with friends online at Pan and Twitter.
  3. Write blog post.
  4. More coffee.
  5. Kiss lady goodbye as she heads off to work.
  6. Post fiction to fiction blog.
  7. Find out why toilet keeps running.
  8. Make some breakfast (eggs and breakfast links)
  9. Write fiction for collaborative role-play novels: Turnskin (werewolves), FLESH (zombies).
  10. Make a chili con carne for the slow cooker.
  11. Root some plant cuttings.
  12. Contribute to reference and zone discussions at Pan like Fleur-de-lis on my most recent gardening adventures, or the Zone : Westerns on some western fun.
  13. Call the mechanic about making an appointment to have the car done.
  14. Laundry.
  15. Put together some shelves bought at Staples so the last of the books from the move can be put away.
  16. Deactivate CS3 on my old computer so it can be activated on the new one.
  17. Clean the apartment.
  18. Pick up best mate from the airport for week long visit.
  19. Eat chili con carne.
  20. Pass out.

I might just jump ahead to the ‘pass out’ part right now just from reading this list. And this doesn’t even include a million and one other little jobs for Pan Historia or my Bardic Web client that needs to be done. I went off to make my second pot of coffee and kiss my lady goodbye between writing the last line and this one and had to add line 7 to the list. Variables could throw a spanner in the whole awesome plan. I might need to be prepared to throw any number of items off the list – but the one thing that is NOT going to be eliminated is writing the fiction.

It’s been a whole week since I have found the time to write fiction. Regardless of life’s fusillade of distractions I will practice what I preach.

The Internet is Killing Your Brain

brains2Casually my son informed me that as a species we were breeding out the redhead and soon they would be no more. I assume he meant because of the melting pot that is the portion of humanity that the Westerner is privileged to be part of rather than the rest of the world that still has its pretty sharp ethnic and cultural divides. Sweeping statements are pretty popular with people as a whole, as are the latest pet theories on what is wrong with us, or what is bad for us.

Cell phones are going to give us all cancer and the internet is killing our social skills. I have read a number of dire predictions, mostly targeting Facebook (because it has gone completely main stream and you can even find your Granny on it now), that we will lose our ability to socialize face to face. The rise of socially inept geeks is all due to the internet. Yes. That’s you reading this. Right now your brain is rotting and your social skills are ebbing away with each click of your mouse.

I’m here to say: Balderdash.

Yet again it’s a bunch of eggheads blaming the symptoms for the malady. The majority of us are using the internet as a useful tool. Even those of us, like me, that find themselves online for a great deal of time every day, aren’t necessarily losing track of our real lives. We still have spouses, kids, birthday parties, and game nights, trips to the beach, hikes, and a myriad of other activities. It’s a relief to get up from the computer and head out to the garden and get my hands dirty in soil.

The problem is serious and it’s out there, however, but it’s not the internet’s fault. That’s another case of saying guns kill people rather than people kill people. Kids and social loners spending all their time online and losing track of reality is a problem with their home life, and society at large. It’s easier and easier for people to feel isolated and removed from other people in our mega-malls and sprawling urban or suburban areas where we emphasize commercialism as the true god of our society. The fact that our TV sucks and the shows are often crude, crass, and mindless banal is a symptom too – not the source. Our media reflects us, not the other way around.

The problems in our society are so deep and pervasive that I can’t address them in a short blog, nor do I have the expertise to suggest the answers. All I can say is that when someone suggests a social networking site is bad for you ask yourself the question: do I spend too much time online at the expense of friends and family? If the answer is yes don’t blame your computer. The answer does not lie in your Ethernet cable. There are other issues at stake.

Tumbling Thoughts…

Tumbleweeds are a form of plant that has an interesting way of scattering its seed. While it starts off in the normal fashion, growing in one place, it detaches itself from the root when mature and dry to start a life of tumbling. Bouncing over the plains and steppes that are its chosen habitat it fires off a scatter shot of seed at each jarring bounce. Salsola pestifera is considered a noxious weed in the United States, an accidental import from Asia, cunningly disguised in the agriculture seed. Pest or not it is ubiquitous as you drive through the western United States. Its traveling is only interrupted by fences, where it gathers, its plant body pressed up like a kid’s face against the glass window of a toy store.

I had occasion to consider the lowly wandering tumbleweed in my trip across country from east to west. I am much like the human equivalent of a tumbleweed, rootless and wandering. In the last six years I have moved six times and this follows the pattern set in my childhood. There is a part of me that longs to settle down and I’m fascinated by those that do, but I wonder if I am capable of the feat. My wandering is most often a form of restlessness. Perhaps I become bored, or maybe I’m fearful of what it means to stay in one place for too long, rooted to the ground like an oak. Will this be all that I am, all that I am to see? Is this one place, this one job, this one group of friends all there is?

Even though I moved six times in the last six years it was all within one town and I had the same job. It’s easy for me to tell you, logically, that I was at the end of the challenges of that job, and that I had no where else to go career wise with that particular company. It was logical to leave at this point, taking me with me an improved resume, but was it really about me being a tumbleweed? Could I have stuck it out and eventually advanced? Should I have bought a house, put down roots?

Can a tumbleweed ever stop tumbling?

Coast to Coast

The Big Trees at Muir Woods

I think the source of my latest move can be quickly accessed by viewing the illustrating image. It’s from my 2007 trip back to the Bay Area to visit with friends.

I think that trip just triggered the inevitable – the longing to go home.

I love Vermont, but at heart, whenever I think of home it’s a warm balmy breeze with a hint of salt, eucalyptus, acacia, and bay laurel. It’s the cathedral vault of towering redwoods, a thick carpet of soft red needles under my feet.

Vermont is truly lush and green about 4-5 months of the year, and that’s a wonderful thing, but the rest of the year it is an exercise in survival.

I don’t mind the golden brown hills of Northern California at all – in fact I think they are beautiful. It’s the cruelness of the human factor that mars the yellow beauty of the California landscape with its billboards, malls, and boring Bauhaus inspired architecture, or worse the factory farms that leach all our water and ruin the fertile soils of the central valley.

When I tell people where I’m going there are is a diversity of reactions from sneering (everyone thinks of Hollywood) to astonishment that I would want to go someplace where “EVERYONE” else is leaving.

Everyone is actually a relative term. For those of us that are native all those folks that arrived from all over to take our jobs, raise our taxes, push up our property values, spread malls and ugly condos all over our once lush hills, and generally make it impossible for this Californian to go home for twenty years are welcome to their exodus. I’m going home to the land where I was born, the land where my father was born, and his father before him. I’ll be happy if I can be a fisherman, a farmer, even to work a simple but meaningful job, or better yet work from home on my computer while take some time to grow some fruit and vegetables. I don’t need a condo, an SUV, a boat, or a fat mortgage.

Oh, but I will be doing a few wine tours this summer. I’ll tell you all about it.

View of the sea at Stinson

Gnashing the Teeth: Wyatt’s Consumer Rant

I have to admit that while it troubles me to admit to less than altruistic emotions at times I have to desire that some businesses crash and burn under these hard economic times leaving the remainder to embrace some old-fashioned ideals: customer service and quality goods.

I am reminded of these things today because of my interesting and fruitless visit to first Staples and then Radio Shack. Several years ago I had occasion to buy my first digital camera on sale at Staples. Less than a year after I purchased the little point and shoot I went back to Staples to buy a bigger memory card for it because I was going on vacation to Arizona. I was informed my camera, less than a year old and used about six times, was obsolete and they didn’t carry that memory card any more (though I could special order it). I ended up buying film for my old camera and shooting about six rolls, which if course cost a fortune to develop as it was already becoming an obsolete technology.

About eight months ago I succumbed to my second digital camera, again on sale. Like the time before I didn’t even buy the cheapest or most basic model. This time I even upgraded to something a little more sophisticated. The battery, however, ran down on it fairly quickly. As I’m headed on another trip across country I headed over to Staples today to get a new battery.

“Oh no, we don’t carry this battery.”

I was close to baring my teeth when the guy said: “but Radio Shack will have it.”

Ah, right, now I remember: I bought it at Radio Shack in the first place. I headed out, mentally apologizing to Staples. At Radio Shack I walked in and the guy at the counter walked out back leaving me to wander the aisles helplessly for about five minutes. Finally a bemused and befuddled assistant came to help me. He didn’t know where the batteries were but we wandered around until we didn’t find the one I wanted.

“Try online if you want it fast.”

Online. Duh. Should have just googled the damn thing in the first place instead of expecting big chains to actually stock the parts required for their products.

My point is not that today was outrageous or even that big of a deal but rather that it was purely TYPICAL. If I behaved in a similar fashion in my own business, my online community, I would be a ghost town today, and yet these big businesses keep on trucking. Not only that but we, as consumers, just accept half-assed service, shoddy goods, and a throw away society where things aren’t made to last but to be upgraded every few minutes, fueling the economy artificially, and filling up our landfills and toxic dumps.

Ok, back to packing.

If Music Be the Food of Love, Eat Local

I have a soft spot for love songs, which is a damn good thing considering it’s the single most popular theme in popular music.  All my love affairs have songs or entire albums dedicated to them – which is probably one of the reasons that I have such a great deal of fondness for the movie High Fidelity with the incomparable John Cusack – who I probably relate to more than any modern actor because of certain similarities in age and aesthetics. In High Fidelity Cusack, after breaking up with his girlfriend, reviews his failed love affairs in terms of the music of his life.  He makes a list of his top five breakups.

In a way I could put together my own play list of failed relationships. I’m not even going to share some of the teen angst ones – but I can tell you that I can still feel a catch in my throat and catch the long ago scent of a lost sweetheart from some golden oldies. I am particularly amused, in retrospect, by my choice of You’re the One by Paul Simon for a passionate affair I had some time back – primarily because I ignored the lyrics (you’re the one, you broke my heart) and I applied it optimistically to the living breathing relationship because she was, you know, the ONE (you are the air inside my chest).  I have found the same strange flip flop of emotion from hope to loss in many of my choices – almost as if I anticipated the end at the start.

What surprises me now is that no song or album has spoken to me in my current love.  This time love came sneaking in on softly shod feet and wrapped warm arms around me and refuses to let me go.  It’s not the love of a young idealistic fool anymore and instead there are many songs, many moods, but not one song needs to be sung.  I don’t find myself moodily attached to a particular refrain because it’s expressing my longing to be more complete with my loved one, it’s also a good thing she doesn’t get jealous when I slip an old lover on the stereo and reminisce some old pain I had.

Snow

All you hear these days is how much people hate it: the inconvenience, the mess, the roads, the delays.  It’s all about how it hinders people from the routine of their daily lives or how dangerous the conditions are to get to work, to get to wherever the hell it is you are in such a rush to get to.  Or maybe they do love it – because they can strap their skis or snowboards to their roof racks and drive to the trails, jostle with all the other people doing the same thing.

I plan to soon leave the snow behind.  I will only miss it on mornings like this.  This morning the snow falls softly, just gentle flakes that have rimed every dark branch with white so that the etched line of the branch itself seems like a shadow of itself.  I will miss it for the one thing it does that seems to be so underappreciated now.  It makes you stop and listen to the sound of a world muted to a primordial state.  It makes you stop and look, really look at your world transformed.  Snow is the haiku of nature.

All the chaos, rampant life and growth, outrageous flats or towering crags, have all be reduced to lines and shapes in monochrome and tones of grey.  When you gaze across the snowy landscape you realize how many shades of white there are.  The air you breathe seems clean for the first time since you were born into this dirty world.  There is no distance because the world disappears into the white ice rich sky.  Edges are soft and indistinct, and you are quite irrelevant.

It is only the fight against the snow that churns it to mud.  Take a snow day instead.